The Kindness of Strangers

     "You can get what you want. Never sell out. Don't break. Don't weaken. Don't let the kindness of strangers be your salvation, for it is no salvation at all. Unless you sleep alone, you sleep with the enemy. Never come out of the storm. On the other hand, maybe you should. You don't have what it takes to go the hard way. Come out of the cold and sit by the fire. Let them warm you with the smiles and promise of friendship's fortune. Lose your edge. A soft body and chained mind suit you. Chances are you don't have what it takes to walk the frozen trail. Stay home and relax." ~ Henry Rollins

     When I read this quote for the first time, it sent shivers down my spine. It hit so close to home. I feel like every human heart burns to be able to say this and mean it, but at the same time the same heart deeply desires to walk the other route and "sit by the fire." We want it both ways. After reading it again, and again - and again, however, I realized that neither of the two extremes are realistic in this world, but there is something that resembles a happy medium. Rollins' words definitely have a ring to them, and he does point out some important issues, but they can't be taken as all-or-nothing absolutes.

     On one hand, we have the driven, motivated person with the willpower to plow through any obstacles in his or her path. This person has neither time or concern for fellow human beings. A person living this way is, as Rollins states, all about getting what they want. One section that really struck me was "Unless you sleep alone, you sleep with the enemy. Never come out of the storm." How far against basic human nature does this go? Humans have historically sought out others to share their lives with, and one could argue that it is basic human nature to be in the company of others. However, this does come with a price - once we allow other humans into our lives, bonds are formed and lives are altered. Take, for example, marriage and starting a family. Young men and women, just setting out in the world to make a life for themselves, full of dreams, freedom, and the hunger of ambition - their lives take a completely different turn when their affection for another person begins to sprout and grow. They give themselves and their lives to this other person, and the life they had planned for the future begins to lose its shine. Life is no longer about making those young-adult dreams of success and status come to fruition; it's about being with and taking care of the ones they love, and making life as bearable as possible for them. Rollins suggests that this is weakness, that this is a loss, that this is giving up. But letting go of the drive to gain everything a person ever wanted, in order to maintain and develop human relationships, is a sacrifice that some people find to be more than worth it. I guess in the end, it comes down to who you are as an individual, and what you want from life. However, what you want can change with age, experience, or a variety of other factors. While presently you might feel you want to pursue your dreams with all your heart and all your strength, in time, your priorities have the potential to change. You might look back, years from now, and think it's incredible how different your life is now from how you had it planned when you were younger. The key is to not look at these differences and and see what you "gave up," but instead see what you have gained.

     The rest of Rollins' statement seems to be a taunt; a sort of "you're not strong enough to do this, don't even bother" dismissal. It seems to be designed to fire people up, and get them to react. One can deduce that the desired reaction would be taking Rollins' advice and trying out the cold, hard lifestyle of the highly ambitious. He portrays affection and friendship as limiting - things that keep one from using one's full potential. He does make a valid argument, to a point: you can't ever let others hold you down, even if they're your friends; don't ever let them change who you are. But merely having friends and caring for other people does not necessarily mean you're going to have a "soft body and chained mind." If you're spending your precious time with people who are worth it, your mind will be the opposite of chained. Interesting people will come into your life and open your mind to a myriad of possibilities, ideas, beliefs, lifestyles, facts, pieces of wisdom, etc. By ruling out everyone as distractions who will cause you to "lose your edge," you can truly miss out on a great deal.

     On last point: Rollins stated: "Don't let the kindness of strangers be your salvation, for it is no salvation at all." This is easy to say if the situation has never arisen in which one has needed help but had nowhere to turn. Is it not part our our duty as members of the human race to help one another? Where would we be if it were not for the kindness of strangers? It comes back to the "Golden Rule" we all learned as children: "Treat others the way you would want to be treated." If someone desperately needed aid but had never helped a stranger in need, could this person rightfully receive assistance from a person he or she did not know? The "kindness of strangers" is the backbone of the human race - the desire to help those who are our brothers and sisters (just by being human) is present in all of us, and no matter how hard some people may try, that desire can never be totally suppressed.